I’d like to formally thank the people of the UK and Ireland today for their rhyming prowess and forcing the Royal Mint to turn off replies to this tweet in RECORD time lmfao
And last but not least, the pièce de resistance that inspired about 90% of the hidden replies:
Every. Time. Every single time. I always get so delighted by this picture set. And I always forget what it’s followed up by. And then I see the “NAFTER NOON!” and absolutely lose it. I’m so glad this post exists.
okay but saying “i wish i had known you sooner” — like the love in my heart is growing so big and fast for you that i wish i had the opportunity to have you way earlier by my side, because i want to love you longer than i can do now. my love for you reaches my past and makes a place for you.
We gotta start taking “child having an absolute meltdown in public” not just as a circumstance to be compassionate about, but as the valuable opportunity it is.
I personally like to close my eyes and pretend I’m the one who’s screaming.
Scream for us all, little nugget.
Every time a child screams or cries out of nowhere I intentionally say “me too” or “couldn’t have said it better myself” or something similar before the parent can try to apologize.
*
jeanette winterson, oranges are not the only fruit
[Transcript: “Naming is a difficult and time-consuming process; it concerns essences, and it means power. But on the wild nights who can call you home? Only the one who knows your name. (1990: 165)” /End transcript.]
DMV: THE CRAZY THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT IT TOOK ONE SINGLE WORD TO TURN IT HORNY. COULDA BEEN A NORMAL CUTE LICENSE PLATE. COULDA TAKEN THE HIGH ROAD & CONJURED A DELIGHTFUL IMAGE OF A MOUSE DRIVING A LITTLE CAR. BUT YOU HAD TO SAY “MOUSEGIRL” AND NOT “MOUSE.” DON’T PRETEND THIS ISN’T WHAT’S GOING ON EITHER I KNOW THE SCORE I KNOW WHAT’S UP. I’M FAMILIAR WITH THIS SORT OF SEMANTIC TRICK. YOU WANT TO FUCK DOWN ON AN ANIME GIRL WITH CERTAIN CHARACTERISTICS OF A RODENT AND EVERYONE’S GOTTA KNOW.
